The Mother Workload

The other day, some friends and I were sharing the typical moments of our day.  One friend shared her frustrations that she never realised that part of becoming a mama meant that her life would become one big continual load of housework.  This lovely mama, a teacher herself, spoke honestly of her sometimes-felt desire to go back to work.  This for her was no reflection on her love for her child, or her desire to be with him.  It was just to feel like she was doing something worthwhile, a task that was NOT cleaning oriented. 

I so get that!  Full time motherhood is wonderful in so many ways, and in some ways a privilege, that to complain or be bored by it is almost sacrilege.  Yet, at times, I too wonder where my dreams have gone to and wonder where a moment of excitement might be!   It is at times like this that my dearly held dream of working at Women's Weekly ( It is true!!! Unbelievable??)  rises up and I ponder the choices and paths I have taken.  Sometimes, this kind of pondering can put me in a really bad mood.  So I try not to do it often.  And I take steps to rise up again.

I never wanted to become a teacher.  Never.  Funny how life circumstances (falling pregnant at 21 with Henrietta) can throw a curveball.  But I trust in the journey, particularly my years working in Waldorf education, and my biography path.  I love learning about 'Biography', and reflecting upon the golden keys that have led me to live in this life, at this present moment.  This journey has given me gifts that are immeasurable, and I couldn't have had them through any other means.

So, for me, my writing and everything I do with my courses, grows out of MY need to find meaning in parenthood in particular, and to make the at-times Really Boring and Predictable job of mothering somewhat interesting.   This is the focus of the book I am writing. Not a parenting guide, but a helpful tool to make the job of parenting to flow a little more, like water heading downstream with the river,  so that we find time to do the fun, creative things we want to do.  So for me, the easiest way to drop the bad mood is to step away from the 'work' brain for a few hours and get back to creating. 

I have spent the past week at home with my husband and children whilst he enjoyed a week's holiday from work (and instead worked on the house!)  We bought a small caravan for the teen, and did it up so she can start to have a little bit of independence and I took over her old room as my new crafty space!  It is pretty basic at the moment, with a long sideboard, a desk (for paper crafts) and a trestle for large projects, but it is MY own space.  I am so excited to have a bit of space to call my own once again, and all my crafty bits together.  The teen, meanwhile, is in teen heaven too!

I've put my incomplete projects and my list of want-to's in the room and can't wait to get started!!  But first, tonight, off to a Chocolate Dance Party and to see a few old friends. 

See you soon!

The Imitation Principle and Dads

In my Waldorf community, there are only women teachers.  I have one ever seen one male working consistently in the early years area, and he left many years ago, never to be seen again.

And as much as us women try to provide balanced experiences for the children in our communities, by engaging the children in woodworking, heavy lifting, setting up of pulley and rig systems in cubby houses, and working with tools, there is something to be said in having a male person working this way and providing a real role model for imitative play.  Without being stereotypical, there are things that a man does and ways that a man moves and communicates, that cannot be replicated by a woman.  (Same goes for the other way too!)

So, it is a big delight for me to watch Ned spending time with his father doing 'boy' stuff. And Chris is great (like many dads) at adjusting his tasks slightly so Ned can join in too!

This past fortnight, Chris has been working to finish concreting our long rural driveway. Of course, Ned wants to join in so he cut off a section of the handle of  a big shovel for him.  Because, of course, no other tool- not a replica or child size version- would have been good enough. Ned wants to do the 'real' job with the real tool, just like his daddy.

And then there was the job of moving concrete to pave a mowing strip next to the trampoline.

Chris's work wheelbarrow was way too heavy, so Ned and Daddy went into the shed to fashion one just right for him!  Abracadabra- a baby bath, an old wheel and a few timber scraps and there you have it!

Chris was busying carving concrete rocks- one of his favourite past-times- something you can tell by looking around our garden.   This is a skill he learned from my dad, a bit of a legend rock carver who worked on the Polar Bear shores and Shark Bay rock enclosures at our local Seaworld, and on tourist attractions all around Australia and overseas.  Rock carving is a long, time-consuming and delicate process.  Ned loves it, but sometimes ends up doing more harm than good!

So, imaginative daddy Chris backed up his ute onto the grassy strip next to the sculpture .  Luckily, we live in a rural lane with only 3 neighbours so car traffic is a rarity.  Chris added two of Ned's big trucks and a few shovels to the sand and Ned played happily next to Dad, carving his own rocks in his makeshift portable sandpit.

This made Chris one very happy daddy, able to work in peace.

Our new letterbox in progress.

I love wonderful male role models that can show little boys and girls what it means to work heartily and happily on a project.  We need more of these guys in the world.

Are you lucky enough to know one??

Happy Birth to Earth Day, Linden!

One of my closest friends Jen and her husband Dave, just had a beautiful baby girl, Linden!

How cute is she??

Head over to Jen's blog Lavendilly House to see Linden in the world's cutest felt papoose, made by another dear friend Maria. 

It really is gorgeous!  And so snuggly, I'd love to hop in there myself!

How to fill a Rainy Day Toy box (useful for get-well days too!)

This past week, I have spent inordinate amounts of time pottering around the home.

One of my jobs on my to-do list was to finally take down Ned's cot, as he has now moved into his big bed and there is no 'baby' on the visible horizon.

I rediscovered a box of special rainy day toys I have stashed under the bed, for when he is a little bit older and thought I might share a few pictures with you.

 (You will see as you read down, that my simple wish of showing you some toys, has evolved into a bit of contemplation instead! )

This game is MY personal favourite.  I bought it from my friends, Nikki and Mia of Time for Craft last year before our big Vital Years conference.  Nikki actually offered the making of the fishing game as her Vital Years workshop and it was very well received!  It is delightful to walk away with a ready made toy or doll for your classroom or home after a week away, as life seems to sometimes get in the way of completing things.  The handmade detail and the delectable beauty of this toy make it a wonder to behold, and adults (especially) fall in love with it!  It definitely makes a wonderful gift, and is a perfect toy for the rainy day box.  Something to savour on a special day.

That is what makes a rainy day box so great.  You can fill it with a variety of things, including more formed games such as the fishing game as well as things that act as imagination builders.

(In day to day play, 'imagination builders' are much more important.  These are the things that remain open ended, and full of possibility for diversive creativity.  Think blocks, curtain rings, plain coloured cloths, simple knitted toys, simple dolls, horse fences, blocks cut from tree branches etc- all things typically found in a Waldorf kindergarten for the very practical reason of providing a way for the children to 'act out' any and every inspiration that may strike)

'Formed' toys are a little different, and have their place- even if it is not so much for the everyday.   These are toys and activities that require less of a child's own imaginative input to create something new.  The 'fish game', although wonderful and gorgeous, is an example of something with a lot of form.  Most children see that  you can take the fishing rod and fish for the dolphin, starfish or crab.  In some ways, the complex felt shapes become fixed into being just a 'fish' or a 'crab'.  The very thing that we adults love, the colour, form and the true to life creation, may actually hinder what our children do with it in play.  This is true of both something we make, and also in other formed toys.  I have another fishing set with wooden cut out fish/crabs/sharks and the same limiting principle applies.  Children have less opportunity to use these formed shapes for anything other than what they suggest.  Redemption of these pieces occurs with a child who is able to take them into a game, such as going to buy fish and chips for dinner or the making of their own fish tank, or who uses them in a made up story or game.

It is interesting that my colleagues and I have shared many discussions about the increasing amount of formed toys that are appearing in Waldorf kindergartens in our country. And perhaps worldwide??

It is true that many of the beautiful formed toys in our rooms are made (or purchased) through the good intentions of parents, grandparents or teachers.  But, as our classrooms, kindergarten, playgroup spaces and homes fill with an abundance of these lovely things, we risk losing the essence of what provides true, free, independent play.   Our discussions have been frank at times, acknowledging that sometimes even with the best intentions, the lure of materialism strikes us all!  And so does beauty!!  I have, over the years, collected an abundance of lovely 'toys' and 'dolls' which have never been intended for the play room.  Nope, they sit with me in my office space quite happily.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that 'less is always more'.  It is a lesson I have to keep relearning.

 There is good news too. My experience has shown me that an older child of 5 1/2 or 6 may demand something a bit more formed when they desire to play out an inspiration.  A blue cloth, a seedpod or two, a bit of wool and a few scraps of fleece might just not 'cut the mustard' for the child of this age and they may find immense pleasure in being able to take a game such as this lovely crafty creation and transform it to suit their play needs.  It is a win win for all! 

The Rainy Day box is filled with lots of other things too.

Shapes for making patterns and pictures,

a magnetic puppet show

(not at all true to life, but a fun thing that children love. 

I had one for my after-school care group years ago, and it was their favourite toy of all)

vintage sewing cards (I found these at a school fete but you could make your own)

a wooden game of tic tac toe (noughts and crosses) with bees and ladybugs bought from the Vic markets in Melbourne,

another vintage game- this one being Snakes and Ladders.  Check out the tiny counters! 

This is a Japanese game of skill, purchased at Japan Day second-hand stalls last year. You stack the pieces, with the head on top, and have to try and knock the coloured circles out with the hammer without tipping the head off.  And, a collection of spinning tops.

This is another set I have had for yonks.  It is made up of houses, blocks, trees, etc and you can build your own town.  Not really suitable for Ned until he is about 3 or 4, as the pieces are pretty small.  

Some Japanese balloons. You can find these at most Japanese food shops for a few dollars. As they are paper, you can play with them inside, or on the verandah, pretty safely.

Curtain pieces bought from an op shop. A great example of an open-ended 'toy' that children love and use in all kinds of ways.  These will be transferred to Ned's everyday toys once he completely stops putting things in his mouth!  (We are almost there!!)

 A basket of wooden gnome and doll bases, left plain. 

(Crafty cute ones are great too, but too much detail can inhibit what children do with them in play. 

You might use these decorated ones for your nature table or a story instead)

There are some of these in Moondew play area already but these are a few put aside for the rainy day box, along with two wooden planks just perfect for playing upon.  These can be moved out of the way of little siblings, or set up at the kitchen table when you want to confine a child to a particular area (eg while you sweep the floor or cook hot oil!!)

And here are a couple of new things for the Moondew everyday playroom.

These are a new find- they were from a craft shop closure.  They are pegs for a peg board, to hang bags or hats on.  I added them to the block basket and we'll see what the children do with them. 

And a basket of mini-pegs too.

Let the play begin!

Autism, Birthday parties and simple wishes

My husband took my son Ned to his first 'kid' birthday party today, a family affair in the park for two of his little Moondew mates.  This was a big moment for him, but also for me, and it made me catch my breath a little to be honest.

You see, birthday parties are something that we all take for granted.  We just assume that our little ones will be invited, that we will buy a suitable present, and that WE may just suffer the after-effects of a few hours indulgence of lollies, sweets, fairy bread, and party pies.  (Unless you happen to be invited to a raw-ganic party, where you will love the host forever more!!)

But when your child is different to others- whether it be due to a disability, or a disfigurement, or by their behaviour- a simple thing like a birthday party invitation is no longer a regular part of life. And in some ways, a birthday party invitation becomes a symbol for all that you have lost, no matter how much goodness is in your life because of this child.  During her early years and into primary school, birthday party invites were few and far between.  The rare times she was included, I embraced the birthday party after-glow of hyperactivity and tantrum, grateful to be included in a normal milestone. 

So, as a parent who no longer assumes that a birthday party invitation is my given right, I am even more grateful to receive one!!   It is like I have been invited to the party!! That finally, I am in the 'in' crowd!!
This excites me more than you could possibly know, as I am a party queen!!

I know that the 'birthday party invitation' or lack of one, is a common theme for those with a child with a difference. 

As parents of these children, we all lament the lack of foresight, vision and compassion from some birthday party hosts. 

We hope against all hope that adults could see beyond the difficult behaviours, or quirky habits, or uncomfortable traits of our children and give these little ones a fair go, knowing that in this positive, fun arena (not school or kindy) our children will shadow normality for a while. 

We wish and pray that potential hosts might actually find something wonderful, delightful and sacred in our battle-weary little ones (as we do). 

We pray they recognise that extending the hand of friendship through a birthday party invitation might pave the way for everyone, young and old, to have a wonderful lesson in compassion and empathy. 

The thing is, the little ones actually often don't care much about a birthday party invitation or not- but the parents do.  A simple invitation can be the kindest thing someone has done for us all year and can make us feel normal for an hour or two.

Having a child with a disability has been, without a doubt, the MOST challenging thing I have ever had to deal with in my life, and it never stops.  But the most helpful support has always come in the most simple of offerings, such as a party or play date invitation.  A friend acknowledging the child's presence, someone taking the time to enquire after her wellbeing, adults and children including her in their play/day, my family having her over for a few days to give us a break, or her best friend's family letting her live with them for the past two months- these have all been welcome gifts and respite in the ongoing saga.  (I really, truly thank my family and friends for these gifts)

So, today, as Ned and Chris went off to T and E's party,  I spent a few moments in gratitude: 

• gratitude for the gift of an invitation (Thank you, Tamar and Steph!),
• gratitude for my support network of family and wonderful friends and Government agencies!
• gratitude for the lessons I have encountered along the way which make life a little more tolerable, 
• gratitude for my spiritual support and ability to remain centred
• gratitude for balance, and always being able to see the cup as half full
• gratitude for my gorgeous happy-go-lucky son and helpful generous husband, and
• gratitude for the many, many gifts and lessons from my 15 year old. 

They say that we teach best what we need to learn, and it is no wonder that my work has evolved over the years to include creative parenting workshops.  The most important things to know- compassion and empathy.  These things remind me that everyone has wonderful potential if we can only find the key.

This journey has prepared me well, and I'm super grateful for another go!  And rest assured, there will be birthday party invitations galore from this old house!!  Invitations for one and all!!

A Beautiful Blogger Award for MamaMoontime

An award for MamaMoontime!

Thank you Pip, from Worm's Eye View for this lovely gift.

In the spirit of this award, I must now pass this recognition onto 10 more bloggers whom I cherish.

Ahhh... how to choose??

But here goes, in no particular order. 

My Paper Crane

Zakka Life

Lavendilly House

Childhood Magic

Felt Cafe

Jolly Goo

The Magic Onions

Sew Liberated

Sweet Tidings

Twig and Toadstool

Now it is your turn!!  Pass the blog love on!!

You bloggers, and many others just like you, make my day! 

Thank you!

The Abbey Tournament Medieval Festival at Caboolture

Last weekend, we visited the Abbey Tournament Medieval Festival.

It is held on the purpose built site on Bribie Island road, where the Abbey Museum of Medieval History is also located.  I have always wanted to go, but for about the last 8 years, my annual conference has clashed with the dates so this year, off we went.

In all, there were about 34 Medieval inspired groups, from gypsies to battalion groups to craftspeople.  Each group had their own theme and their own camp.  The camps themselves were spectacular in their authenticity, showing us how these people might have lived. 

The 're-enactors' as they were called, lived on site for up to 7 days- cooking, eating, sleeping, dressing, showering (or not) and generally living as they would have back then. 

There were battle demonstrations,

and marches.

The warrior types would then return to their encampments, and cook their lunches over permanently glowing fires.

There were animals roaming,

people tying ropes and playing cards and making crafts,

making bread and roasting pigs.

Ned liked the catapult!  This was a small one but there were other great BIG ones.

I would not have wanted to have been on the receiving end!

Ned rode a pony for the second time. 

And there were more battles.

The jousting was the last thing of the day for us.

We paid one golden coin ($1) to be peasants sitting on the grass, or you could pay two golden coins to be seated with the nobles.  Unfortunately, the last of the nobles tickets had been sold by the time we got there so we had to slum it!

All in all,  a great day out. 

And to finish a great day, we visited my friend Meg and her family, who lived just down the road, and stopped for an impromptu dinner.  Always the best kind, don't you think?

How to make lemon butter

First, you need lots of lemons.

For a good amount, with enough to share with a friend or neighbour or two, melt 250grams of butter in a saucepan on low.   In a separate bowl, grate the rind of 8-10 lemons and juice them too.  Add the rind and juice, along with 8 well beaten eggs, to the butter.  Finally, add 900 grams of sugar and mix well, until the sugar has dissolved.

Crank up the stovetop to medium heat and continue stirring until the lemon butter begins to thicken slightly.

When it bubbles a little, pour the lemon butter into clean, germ free jars (you can pop the glass jars into the oven on low for 15 minutes to sanitise the jars).

Your delicious lemon butter will keep for up to four weeks in the fridge but probably won't last that long!!

It is super delicious, and just right for spreading onto freshly baked bread.